Those three words
by PencilChewer
Summary: It's been a long day for two heads one night as one makes it worse when she murmurs something in her sleep. Jily one-shot. It's my first fanfic here so I'd appreciate the feedback!


**A/N: this is my first FanFic uploaded here and it would pretty much enlighten my day if you review.**

**Disclaimer: why do people do these when obviously were not as good as Jo?**

* * *

"...And we should put Penny and Screws together next Thursday, they're good when working together, I noticed in Potions the other day," Lily droned, resuming her writing despite the distractions coming from across her where James was sighing every now and then, drumming his fingers on her hand that laid between them on the table.

Lily looked up at him, blinking several times. She dropped her quill and folded her hands to stop him from tapping harder on the left one and cause a bruise. She raised an eyebrow, abandoning the task of completing the timetable for rounds next month.

"James, what's wrong?"

The boy being interrogated shook his head. "Nothing. Why would you think as such?" he answered, fiddling with the corner of the parchment.

Of course that was a lie, and Lily knew it. She knew him well enough to know when he lied in any circumstance, a sign of how close she studied him in the few months they've been together. He'd blink profusely, thinking it was an act to show how innocent he was, though she knew it was just the opposite.

"Because you aren't paying any attention and you're groaning more than usual, it's getting aggravating. Something is obviously bothering you."

Another sigh was admitted from him. He shrugged and sat up from his slouched position on the wooden chair, his lower back clenching painfully. "It's nothing," he said, "I'm just dead tired. Can we go to bed now? We can finish it in the morning, it's been a long day."

And it has. The day couldn't have gone worse, what with the fight that broke out between Sirius and a few Slytherins that resulted in a few well-given detentions and point deductions and a claim that mudbloods and blood traitors alike will reach their end soon. Other than that, finding out that a close friend of the Potter's, Arty Valcinson, was killed in an attack (this being sent by James' parents, the Prophet not saying the cause of death). And finding a few first years (all from houses other than Slytherin, on James' note, and saying it surely wasn't a coincidence), their faces blanched and bodies shaken terribly. Then there was the incident in the morning where James almost, _almost_, said three words he didn't want to say at the moment.

It was when Lily came knocking on his door, screeching loudly on the top of her lungs.

* * *

"_James Charlus Potter, wake up!" she yelled, her fists raping at the door time and time again._

_"Mmm, imma comin," he groaned sleepily, shaking the covers off him and shoving his glasses onto his face with one hand, the other running itself through his hair. He yawned and opened the door to reveal a fully dressed and combed Lily Evans, her hands on her hips and her eyes flared._

_"Do you know what time it is?!" she shouted, waving a hand and walking into the room._

_"'Morning to you too," he muttered under his breath, closing the door behind him and shuffling his feet on the floor to cross to the bathroom._

_"James, you missed breakfast and we have class in." Lily paused her scolding to look at the clock on the wall that was obviously wrong, since it said six-thirty. She looked down at her watch on her hand, frowning at it. Six-thirty. She was sure it wasn't that time, she woke up to her alarm that was set to seven._

_"When do we have class? I want to know whether I have time to kiss my girlfriend good morning or not." James' voice came muffled from behind the door._

_Lily coughed, fiddling with the end of her skirt and sitting down on the bed. "In another four hours," she said in a hushed voice._

_James opened the door, the corners of his mouth covered in white foam, his face glistening in the light that glared through the curtains of the windows. "Did you say four hours, Evans?" he asked, stepping out of the bathroom and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking at the wall beside him. "Evans, it's six. Six-thirty. You come here, screaming at shouting at me to get up, and there's still another four hours till class?"_

_"I woke up to my alarm and it was seven! Obviously I'd think that it's actually seven so I could get dressed. Someone messed with the time on my clock," Lily snapped back, brushing her hair behind her ear which was bright red in humiliation._

_"Who would possibly put both of us in the misery of waking up at six in the morning?" James asked, shutting his eyes and snapping them back open when it occurred to him._

_"Sirius," they both muttered in unison, scowling at the door opposite them._

_James took it in amusement, looking between her, the clock, and the door, then rolling his eyes and padding back to the bed, falling onto it with a thump, laying on his stomach with the side of his face buried in the goose-feathered pillow._

_Lily craned her neck to look at him, narrowing her eyes. "What are you doing?"_

_"Making up for the sleep you and Sirius made me lose," he muttered, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her down so she laid on her side to face him._

_"James," she warned, trying to get up but he silenced her._

_"Be quiet, Lils please. What are we supposed to do when there's still four hours to get to class?" he said, pulling out his bottom lip in a pout as he rubbed small circles on the small of her black._

_Lily sighed and snuggled further down the bed, her chin in her hand, blinking up at him with a smile._

_And it was then when he wanted to confess his love to her, the way she gazed at him, scrolling her eyes over his face and studying his features, the way his hand fit perfectly in hers when she took it and started playing with his chapped fingers, the way they didn't need to say anything to each other and stay in an unbroken silence. Just the simplest things she does makes him want to burst in affection and lust and caring, almost making him whisper in her ear before she closed her eyes those three words that would most likely make her wake from the half-sleep she was in._

* * *

Lily nodded and stood up, rolling the parchment in scrolls and putting them aside. James took her hand when she was done and led the way to his dorm room, dragging his feet slowly and noisily on the wooden staircase. Lily grinned and shook her head at him, closing the door behind them and climbing into the bed with him, his arms wrapping around her instantly, one around her waist, hanging at the middle of her back, the other under her, connecting with the other. He pressed his face to the top of her head and hers to the crook of his neck, her hot breath leaving goosebumps on his skin.

Even though he was the one who asked to go to sleep, James couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. He toyed with the ends of Lily's hair, looking at the door across from him with narrowed eyes, thinking about the day's events. Sirius, who supported a black eye from the row (though his opponent suffering many times worse), the first years who were now in the hospital wing, probably being questioned by their Head of House about the reasons as to why they were in a broom cupboard, and then trying (but failing terribly) to tell Lily he loved her, but those three little words, that held so much in meaning, won't come out of his mouth, even when they were on the tip of his tongue. Reasons? You could say it was just tongue-tied, or maybe even fear. Most likely the latter, since he was afraid of letting the beauty that now laid in his arms sleeping peacefully go. Afraid of how she might react, rejecting him in a new way he couldnt think of at the moment. And poor James, he couldn't take any more rejections or his heart might just shatter in a thousand pieces, not to be put back together again. Afraid of how-

His doubts were interrupted by Lily's light snores and mutters under breath. He smiled. It was one of the things he loved about her that proved she wasn't a perfect angel in her sleep, even though the frantic moving and talking defined that as well.

"J-James," she yawned and rolled over on her side, still fast asleep. She yawned and smacked her lips a few times while he smiled and kissed the back of her neck.

"Right here, darling," he whispered, laying his chin on her shoulder and pulling her back to press against his chest.

"L-l-ove you..."

James blinked and pulled back, retrieving his arms from around her. Possibly from shock, possibly from the irony of the situation. Just when he came to the realization of him loving her and afraid of saying anything, Lily mumbles the words that crossed his mind just moments ago. He blinked once and rolled over so that his back was to hers, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling at the wall.

Even though he couldn't say it, he wanted to tell her first. He wanted to be the one that whispered those three words first. But she already beat him to it.

James sighed and looked over his shoulder to her. She was still fast asleep, oblivious to his reactions towards her mumbles.

* * *

"James, wake up."

"Leave me alone."

"James, stop being a prat and get up."

"I'm not really feeling it."

"James," Lily sighed, pressing a light kiss to his neck that made him shudder and please her with his reaction. "Please. What's up with you? Yesterday and today? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." James' eyelids closed and opened several times.

"You're lying," Lily accused, giving him a slight shove in the forearm. "you can tell me anything you know."

"Yes. I know," James replied curtly.

"Then why can't you tell me why you're acting all awkward around me?"

"Because, Lily, I love you and I'm afraid of telling you!" James snapped, unable to keep it in him. His eyes widened and he rolled over to see how she would react to the new news that might ruin or strengthen their relationship.

Lily's brow furrowed, sitting up with her legs crossed and her hands folded in her lap. "You're afraid of telling me you love me?" she asked, laughing lightly. "Who am I, Voldemort?"

James shook his head. "Definitely not, I wouldn't love Voldemort, he kills for a living." He sat up on his elbows.

"Well then why were you afraid of telling me?"

"Several reasons; the possibility of losing you after you took my heart, the realization that you're plastered in my mind like a tattoo and I can't get rid of you no matter what, and possibly your response." He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, you want to know my response?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow, her hands on her knees.

"I kinda do, unless you want me to crumble in anticipation," James admitted, sitting in the same position as her, grinning.

"I love you too."

Even though James knew it from last night, even though he expected it from the smile that spread across her face, he still couldn't help but grin like a fool when she took him by the collar and pressed her lips to his.

And even though James didn't tell her, Lily Evans was the first one to say 'I love you' in their relationship. Thus, making the rest think that he was the one who confessed first.


End file.
